The truth is, I am a closet writer. I mean literally, because I keep all my written work hidden. But one thing is sure I will never waver to nurture this urge to write.

At a young age, I have discovered early the fruits of angled words catching life’s complexities and contradictions in sentences and capsulized lines. My pen would collect them to create images I never imagine would be possible. The little notes I called slips covered the whole gamut of emotions from grief, sorrow, hatred, pain and love. They were written however like crude ink-forms, only for my own pleasure and private reading. Too often, it was just a whimsical drive to desecrate old truths with silly mental interpretations that never got to be written most of the time.

As I went through significant physical and emotional changes in my life, I learned to lock these silly notes in a box, purposely for the said notes to disappear to oblivion. I never thought they were worth reading anyway. There was really no need to bother my pen or so, I thought. I was helplessly drowning in self-doubt because English is not my native tongue. I was a nobody who preferred to write in a foreign tongue.

Then by a stroke of faith, I discovered LinkedIn and hesitantly joined the “Poets” group.  I was damned too scared to share my sample poetry.  I was only writing for myself for quite a long time and there was really no pressure to improve my craft. I was not even conscious with grammatical issues and rhythmical patterns. I just write for the sheer pleasure of writing. I merely gave in to the flash of inspiration unrestricted, unobstructed and unhampered by rules, in an attempt to catch the moment while it lasts. The practice allowed me to weave ideas into words and made them fall in line, unboxed.

It must be my stubborn, liliputian logic that I have become stone deaf, retreating inwardly in my comfort zone. I write for my own self-gratification. I write not to be judged by critics. This has been my credo for so long.

Meeting however three angels from Poets group at LinkedIn have radically changed my approach to writing. Shari Jo, Kalika and Toni motivated and inspired me to get out of my cocoon and test a new ride. They encouraged me to explore new inroads beyond my comfortable nest and upgrade from low to high-octane writing. They told me I have something new to offer and it made me a bit bolder. Another dear friend, Murray, also helped polished my writing skills by instilling relentlessly the value of precision and brevity in poetry writing.  I am indebted to him for my original poem that was accepted to be published in the October issue of Tuck Magazine in 2013. I know I am still far from being good, but I am gradually learning.

No doubt, LinkedIn was my poetic birthing ground, but as I bumped into another pathway, the FanStory.com, my first crude walk at LinkedIn became crucial to my poetic growth as a FanStorian. My baptism into the world of poetry via online writing platforms contributed a lot to my poetic journey.

I haven’t changed really much about my views in writing.  I still write for my own private pleasure. I still write for the sole purpose of seeing words coming to life whether crude or polished, whether it be free or unfree verses. The form is always immaterial to me, but the message is everything why poetry or prose is written.  I still believe ideas and words are better captured when they are raw, unblocked and not dictated by rules. Finally, I could say my wings got stronger in time, backed up by a firm conviction that at last, I could fly against the wind.

Separate motherhood, however, is a tough wind to confront and can make a lot of difference in writing. Routine, mundane things and menial jobs that could help save extra cash are consistent tradeoffs for writing.  My pen will willingly take a backseat to ensure that there is food on the table and that funds are always available to finance the college education of my two children. Thus, when flashes of inspiration jump in mid-air while cleaning the dishes or washing the laundry, bright ideas just joined the suds down the drain, finding their way back only when I am done. Believe me, when a flash of inspiration comes back, it is no longer the same as the first time it hits me.

Perhaps, my muse will sing a different tune this time.  I am officially retired from teaching and currently employed part time as a skilled professional. I have two children armed with college degree, with stable jobs and I can only look with pride at the fruits of my labor.   Today, I am turning another phase in my life re-exploring the thrills of my first ever Blog, re-tracing my baby walk at LinkedIn, revisiting my roots at Fan Story, renewing my ties with friends and enjoying the gifts of God above all. I am truly alive. What more can I ask for?